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(From left to right): Senior defender Kennedy Wesley, 21, and fifth year midfielder Sierra Enge, 22, pose for a portrait as they wear bracelets stating ?’F19HT?“ and ?’KATIE?•S SAVE,?“ which is the foundation Katie Meyer?•s parents started at Stanford University on Tuesday, September 27, 2022, in Stanford, Calif. Meyer?•s jersey number was 19. Meyer, 22, was a goalie with the women?•s soccer team who committed suicide earlier this year. Katie?•s teammates also wear warmup jerseys that say Mental Health Matters on the back and have the suicide hotline number on their sleeve.
A tree with Katie Meyer?•s jersey number, 19, carved into it stands near the soccer practice field at Stanford University on Tuesday, September 27, 2022, in Stanford, Calif. Meyer, 22, was a goalie with the women?•s soccer team who committed suicide earlier this year. According to Tyler Geivett, associate director, communications, Meyer?•s parents parked near this tree and watched Katie play. Meyer?•s teammates are wearing warmup jerseys that say Mental Health Matters on the back and have the suicide hotline number on their sleeve.
(From left to right): Senior defender Kennedy Wesley, 21, fifth year midfielder Sierra Enge, 22, senior defender Paige Rubinstein, 21, and senior midfielder Maya Doms, 21, pose for a portrait at Stanford University on Tuesday, September 27, 2022, in Stanford, Calif. The soccer teammates don warmup jerseys that say Mental Health Matters on the back and have the suicide hotline number, 988, on their sleeve. Their former teammate Katie Meyer, 22, was a goalie with the women?•s soccer team who committed suicide earlier this year.
(From left to right): Senior defender Kennedy Wesley, 21, fifth year midfielder Sierra Enge, 22, senior defender Paige Rubinstein, 21, and senior midfielder Maya Doms, 21, pose for a portrait at Stanford University on Tuesday, September 27, 2022, in Stanford, Calif. The soccer teammates don warmup jerseys that say Mental Health Matters on the back and have the suicide hotline number, 988, on their sleeve. Their former teammate Katie Meyer, 22, was a goalie with the women?•s soccer team who committed suicide earlier this year.
STANFORD, CA - SEPTEMBER 19: Katie Meyer and Fans during a game between Santa Clara and Stanford University at Laird Q. Cagan on September 19, 2021 in Stanford, California.
(From left to right): Senior defender Kennedy Wesley, 21, and fifth year midfielder Sierra Enge, 22, pose for a portrait at Stanford University on Tuesday, September 27, 2022, in Stanford, Calif. The soccer teammates don warmup jerseys that say Mental Health Matters on the back and have the suicide hotline number, 988, on their sleeve. Their former teammate Katie Meyer, 22, was a goalie with the women?•s soccer team who committed suicide earlier this year.
Stanford, CA - November 24, 2019: Stanford Women's Soccer wins over Penn State 2-0 in a third round match of the NCAA D1 Women's Soccer Tournament.
September is suicide awareness month.
Every day has been another opportunity for Stanford women’s soccer players to do more than raise awareness — to push for stronger mental health resources for athletes while giving themselves patience and grace for their own well-being .
The team wears warmup shirts that say “Mental Health Matters” in the front, and with the 988 suicide hotline number on the sleeve. On the road they wear black warmup jerseys, and at home they are white.
It’s one of the ways the players have organized to honor their late teammate Katie Meyer, who they lost to suicide in March.
“One thing that stood out (about Katie) was her passion for things,” captain Kennedy Wesley said. “I know if she were here, she’d be passionate about spreading awareness so we can help as many people as we can.”
The team will host a mental health game against No. 1 ranked UCLA on Oct. 14. Details are still being settled with the school, but they did confirm there would be a T-shirt giveaway with the “Mental Health Matters” slogan and 988 number on the back.
Every day, Stanford captain Sierra Enge dons two bracelets, one that reads “Katie’s Save,” the foundation her parents began, and another honoring former Washington State football player Tyler Hilinski, who died from suicide. After a practice in September, she was preparing for a meeting to plan their mental health game.
“We want to celebrate her,” said Enge. “But at the same time, we want to deal with it. We’ve really tried to celebrate her by trying to create change.”
Meyer was one of Enge’s best friends on a team where she was beloved by all. She traveled to Europe in December with Enge and Naomi Girma when Girma, their former Cardinal teammate, was drafted first overall by the NWSL’s San Diego Wave.
A captain at Stanford, Meyer backstopped the team to a College Cup title in 2019. She was also an ambassador for Just Women’s Sports, was preparing to teach a class at Stanford Design School, and earned a spot with The Mayfield Fellows Program and was chosen to be a Defense Innovation Scholar.
Suicide among student athletes, especially women, has become more common in recent years. In the spring alone, at least five, including Meyer, died from suicide. In a recent NCAA survey, reports of anxiety and depression, and mental exhaustion, have remained 1.5 to 2 times higher than before the pandemic, according to responses from over 9,800 student-athletes.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 800-273-8255 to reach a counselor at a locally operated crisis center 24 hours a day for free.
Crisis Text Line: Text "Connect" to 741741 to reach a crisis counselor anytime for free.
According to the study, “Thirty-eight percent of those in women’s sports and 22% of the men’s sports participants reported feeling mentally exhausted constantly or most every day, the most common concern reported.”
“We always feel like we have to be performing at our best whether it’s in the classroom or on the field,” Enge said. “I think every single girl here puts a lot of pressure on themselves, and when you don’t see immediate success, it’s difficult.
“It all takes a toll on you.”
The CDC reports that suicide is the second-leading cause of death for young people ages 8-24. In the U.S., every day, 130 people die by suicide. The CDC says suicide has surged by 57.4% between 2007 and 2018.
Meyer was the fourth student suicide of the year at Stanford, which has also brought the school under scrutiny. Her former teammates have focused on what they could do while waiting for Stanford’s long-term response.
“There aren’t enough resources, and this needs to change,” Enge said. “Way too many people are dying because of this, and we as a team want to be a part of that change.”
Throughout the early season, the players have dictated how their group would honor their teammate as a collective. Whatever the school has been doing, the athletes decided how they wanted to handle themselves, and their own time at Stanford.
“With the school, there’s change coming, but it’s slower,” Enge said. “I think the team has been able to change things right away.”
The first match of the season came and went without any obvious memorial. The team decided not to do anything ahead of games to guard against becoming overwhelmed while preparing to play. For one game at USF early in the season, the Dons had planned a moment of silence, which the team asked them to not to do.
Players previously said they were dedicating this season to Meyer. They didn’t re-issue her No. 19 before the season.
North Carolina and Virginia have hosted mental health awareness games and dedicated matches to Meyer, but the Cardinal players have searched for ways to honor their teammate while coping with their grief.
“I wish we could have done more for her,” head coach Paul Ratcliffe said. “I wonder what more we could have done to help her, I wish we could have.”
When deciding how to honor Meyer, Enge said the team has made every choice as a collective. They are still undergoing meetings deciding how to use their platform during the UCLA game; players have met with school officials during the decision making.
Enge cited a “team spotlight” concept, where anyone on the team can open up about anything they want. She said most of the team has opted into it, where some players will open up about simple, day-to-day struggles, and others will “go a lot deeper.”
“If we don’t create those spaces,” she said. “Conversations don’t happen.”
Wesley, Enge and the rest of the team have made sure to hold space for their grief while also navigating the season. For most athletes, this has been the first season in three years without looming threats of pandemic disruption and isolation .
Ratcliffe has watched his players take the lead, while offering support from the sidelines. He said the first game without her, the opening night match in August, was one of the toughest moments.
It was when every emotion they experienced all summer without Meyer felt more real.
“There have been so many firsts without her,” he said. “I tried to put it in the back of my mind and do my best to help the whole team, but obviously when you reflect, it’s challenging. You get emotional.”
As much as Stanford’s players hope their mental health game and other initiatives raise awareness, Enge stressed the real goal is tangible change.
Meyer’s parents, Steve and Gina, have said they were unaware Katie was facing a disciplinary hearing at the time of her death. The mission for Katie’s Save is to ensure students who need guidance or support get just that. One of its initiatives is a program that would offer students the option of having a notification sent to an advocate of their choosing when they face challenging circumstances, such as physical injury or discipline.
“You’re 18 years old and technically an adult, but you’re not,” Enge said. “There’s so much more development that has to happen, but when you go to college, your parents can be completely in the dark.”
Marisa Ingemi is a San Francisco Chronicle staff writer. Email: marisa.ingemi@sfchronicle.com
Marisa Ingemi covers women's sports, hockey, and more for The San Francisco Chronicle. She comes from Seattle via Boston, where she attended Boston University and worked as an NHL beat reporter. She lives with her cat, Noelle, who is from New Hampshire, like her. When not working, Marisa enjoys cooking, going to the movies, and exploring zoos and animal sanctuaries.